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Phil Cooke Podcast

Oct 24, 2018

Insecurity is the single biggest problem in the workplace today. It runs rampant in Hollywood, in business, even among church leaders. If you’re dealing with people who drive you crazy at work, here’s Phil’s checklist to find out if insecurity is the source – and then his tips on how to deal with a petty and insecure person. 

Petty and insecure people…

  • Continually have to remind people they are an experienced professional.
  • Take every opportunity to take a swipe at others at work.
  • Dominate meetings with endless talk.
  • Point out every flaw in other’s ideas.
  • Are clueless on fixing big problems so they focus on the petty small things.
  • Never show grace.
  • Are not open to other’s ideas.
  • Have to keep reminding people what an expert they are.

Insecure people are desperate to be important and significant and usually go overboard to prove that they’re in charge. They are often dominating micro-managers. When you’re working with someone who is insecure, you may not be able to just walk away. Here are Phil’s secrets in how to deal with a petty and insecure person…

  1. Take the high road. They may take credit for everything you do, but don’t go down to their level. Your day will come.


  1. Don’t get pulled into their games. Don’t get involved in their craziness and gossip. Be gracious and just walk away if you have to.


  1. Don’t back down. Don’t be a doormat with an insecure person. Be firm, be gracious, but don’t back down.


  1. Keep a journal of their stupidity. Write down when they’ve been offensive, taken credit for somebody else’s ideas, or been inappropriate. Especially in this #metoo era, keep a document, so that when things come to a head, you have it written down.


  1. Understand underlying reasons for why they’re insecure. Sometimes they’ve had a very difficult background and it will help you have a little more grace and sympathy towards them if you know how they got there. You may be the source of their deliverance.


  1. Go where you’re celebrated and not where you’re tolerated. Try to be in a work situation where people appreciate and value you. Always have your resume polished and your bio up to date as a change of job may be your only way out.


Sometimes people will not change. Sometimes it’s a matter of moving on – and sometimes it’s a matter of learning how to graciously navigate dealing with an insecure leader.

-Phil Cooke

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